We had a second Mars n Venus session today. We did not have a heated debate today. It was more of a sharing / discussion session by the tcher. Occasionally, we hear some views of others (all girls in this case). We talked abt issues like dating secretly, age gap, intimacy, plans, the make-up of men vs women, etc.

On the issue of dating secretly, we were focusing on the reason to date secretly. Was there a need to? Was it becoz the relationship is premature n not stable yet, so the couple does not wanna reveal? Could there be rivalry or objections? I was justing that it does get worrying if a guy does not want to disclose the relationship. Could he be two-timing? u just gotta factor in many things for consideration i guess. Personally, i'm against secretive dating.. u might just get inquisitive (ie. kpo friends) stalking after you... lolx!~

Oh yar age gap, well... it really depends on how wide is the gap and also whether the guy is older or the girl is older. Jus to bring in a cliche quote 'love knows no boundaries'. So technically age gap should not be a great problem. Take my parents for instance, their age differ by 10 years, but i see a very smooth relationship which is not hampered but this so called gap. And we figured that girls naturally have the tendency to fall for older guys, coz they supposedly have more experience n are more street-wise, in the sense that they know what works and what doesn't. And on a more practical note, they have the financial capabilty to give the girl materialistic comfort. As a matter of fact, matured guys are rather attractive in a sense. Afterall, girls do mature faster than guys (in terms of both psychologically n physically), so guys of the same age will appear to be relatively immature.

Another point to tackle is that of the so-called jie di lian, whereby the girl is older than the guy. Well, if it's jus a matter of a few months, i suppose the difference is not exactly significant. However, as i have mentioned earlier, women age faster than men, u don't really want someone to mistake ur husband for ur son, when u r in ur late forties or early fifties, when ur husband just reach his prime age (peak at about 40). As a personal opinion, i feel that such relationship is acceptable, so long as the age gap is not too great, ie. less than 5 or smth... And it largely depends on the maturity of the guy. yepp...

Moving on to the point on level of intimacy within a couple. Well.. this is rather personal n i will refrain from commenting too much. As outlined by the facillitator of our discussion, in general the stages are as follows: holding hands, kissing, passionate kissing, petting of various levels and eventually sex. The thing is everyone has different stand on pre-marital sex, so obviously there would be difference in terms of how far they think a couple should go. But the key idea is that there's always a need to talk such issues out. And there's also the point to note that a couple should not develop so fast, coz afterall, if its meant to a long term affair, to put in crudely, u gotta be able to last that long... if the relationship progresses too fast, then it is highly possible that the relationship will stagnate very soon.

Also, its a fact that men n women work differently. Women are driven by emotions while men are driven by hormones/physical needs. So the female, more rational party has to take CONTROL, so that things won't go out of hand. lolx!~ Afterall, it's true that the girl is the one that loses out, while the guy has nothing to lose.

Moving on to the last point on plans... Erm.. i guess this has to do with what stage the relationship is at and ur age. I don't really think that teenagers dating will have any marriage plans in mind. haha... that's beside the pt. Anw, i was rather surprised to find out that actually guys think more long term. While the girls side were dicussing abt more current stuff, the guys at the other side of the seminar room were discussing abt whether they should live with parents after marriage. haha... qte astonishing rite? It was also further sharing of opinions on this pt that reveals other shocking views. For instance, when probed what are the plans for the relationship after jc, a girl actually said BREAKUP. Wad?! But i guess it's not totally wrong of the decision, perhaps she is jus being more pragmatic n less romantic. Instead of working on how to keep the relationship going, even thru the ns period, she probably feels that the relationship cannot last thru the ns separation n especially if the guy goes overseas to further his studies, well its known fact that long-dist relationships are hard to manage. But nevertheless, the fact that breakup being the first thing that comes to mind, when asked abt the plans after jc life, is in fact qte saddening despite being understandable. (disclaimer: no personal attacks intended.) How many couples actually make plans for their future? Or would u rather let nature take its course?

Lastly, on the fundamental differences between guys n girls. In general, guys talk abt almost anything under the sun, but they usually do not express what they feel inside. Whereas, girls on the other hand, tend to be more emotional and express they feelings more easily. A situation given was of a guy bottling up something that troubles him, while the girl is all ready to give a verbal diarrhoea. I thought it sounded pretty amusing. I guess the key issue here is communication. Talk things out, it's probably the best possible solution to any problem. So guys, do express how u feel, and girls, avoid verbal diarrhoea. haha... =)

End of discussion. Hope it's useful. haha... i m blogging instead of completing my econs essay. tsktsk... bye!~